SILENCED!

  

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Credit: leschnyhan 

Bolanle was a girl who had been dealt the cold blow of cruel tradition. She was once a happy girl whose smile never ceased to light up the faces of others; her laughter would usually echo in the ears of her listeners, even in her absence. Her experience had caused her laughter to become a whisper, and her smile, a distant memory to those who knew her.

She had become a shadow of herself, sapped of the very essence of life itself. Tradition, like a strong chain, had reached to her to bind her, just as it did the generations before her. A cruel act performed in the name of protection was a rite of passage every girl had to go through in her village.

However, Bolanle knew that it wasn't entirely true. She knew that her protection would come at a cost, causing her to lose a vital part of her. Protection was synonymous to fear, pain and silence… sometimes, beautiful voices silenced and dreams buried in the graveyard.

Sadly, she didn't have a voice; she dared not speak up for fear of being labeled a rebel or being ostracized. So, when the chains reached for her, she let herself be bound, without a fight, even though she knew that her life was never going to be the same again.

What she didn't know was that the resulting troubles would be more than she could take on.

YEARS LATER

"Maami, this man is a chronic cheat! His lust for women is insatiable" Bolanle said, breaking down in tears. 

"Eh... Omo mi (my child) men are polygamous in nature, it's wired into their DNA, you can't escape that as a woman. Perseverance is all that you need to enjoy your marriage" Maami advised in a bid to pacify her daughter, oblivious to the pain that she was in.

"I'm suffering in silence, pain has been my companion more than the man I married. My body has become a breeding ground for STDs... Maami, I'm sharing my husband with more women than I can count and it's frustrating" Bolanle lamented.

"The destiny of a woman is to bear the lapses of her husband without complaints. While he goes about frolicking with his concubines, you hold down the home front..."

"Your father had two women apart from me and I never mentioned it to a single soul, I still took care of him like a wife should. Now, he's old and unable to move around much like he used to, and I'm enjoying him now" Maami said proudly like she had won a medal.

Bolanle knew that she had made a mistake by calling her mother for comfort, she was the last person in the world who could make her feel better and it was glaring now.

"Ha! Maami, this is unfair o... Is my well-being not a priority to you?"

"Of course it is, my daughter and that's why I'm giving you tips to sustain your marriage and keep your man" Maami replied.

"How do you keep a man that doesn't want to be kept? Ehn?! How do you keep a man whose manhood won't rest until it has entered the lobby of another woman's privates?" Bolanle asked irritatingly. She was angry at her mother's insensitivity to her plight, especially with the way she took pride in boasting about her own husband's infidelity like it was some achievement.

"My daughter, nothing is spoiled yet, there's nothing that's happening to you that is new to the world. A lot of women have similar experiences and they're still in their marriages, so stop making a mountain out of a molehill" 

"You're being insensitive Maami! My mental health has taken a nosedive… I confronted my husband about his cheating and he told me to my face that I'm the problem"

"You confronted him? Since when did you become so disrespectful? Didn't your Bible teach you to be submissive? If you keep at it, he'll go outside for comfort o... Mo so fun ee oo (I warn you now)" Maami shouted from the other end of the phone.

"Wait oo... I hope you're carrying yourself well at home? How's your action in the other room?" Maami asked carefully.

"I'm not! And that's because I can't! You know that you're the root cause of my problem in the other room, you know Maami" Bolanle fired back angrily. Her outburst was followed by more tears.

Maami was silent at the other end, she knew what her daughter was talking about. Iya Alagbo's daughter had been sent packing from her husband's house after he had brought in another woman, everyone blamed the poor woman but maami knew that it wasn't her fault... Just as it wasn't her daughter's fault too.

"Omobolanle mi..." Maami said calmly, calling out her full name in a feeble attempt to calm her daughter.

"It's not my fault o, it's tradition, and it was for your good... To protect you, so that you'll be able to keep yourself for your husband" She continued.

"Do you remember how happy your husband was when he heard you were a virgin, do you think that it was by your doing? With that restlessness you had as a child, you would have gotten pregnant out of wedlock… Remember how his family told us that they weren't going to pay a dime for your bride price if you weren't intact down there" she added.

"The husband that you tried to keep me for is not keeping himself for me now. Cutting off my clitoris and sealing me up with a thread is what was supposed to keep me? That gruesome act is what has taken away my joy and happiness now Maami…"

"My husband says I'm stiff like a log of wood, I don't even feel anything and I can't satisfy him too" Bolanle cried, pouring out all her heartbreak in the form of tears.

Maami was broken, she had started to shed tears too. Her creator could bear her witness that she meant well for her daughter at that time, the turn of events was unexpected. Her daughter had become an unhappy woman because of her.

"Omo mi (my child) I'm sorry, I didn't know it was going to be this way" Maami pleaded.

"You stayed and watched while they sliced off a delicate part of me. You led me to that slaughterhouse yourself and watched me go through intense pain that almost made me mad... You're an evil woman" Bolanle said, her voice full of hate.

Mabinu oko mi (don't be angry my dear), I'll change, I'll make amends..."

"Amends? How? Can you stitch back that part of me? Or magically awaken the feelings that you gruesomely murdered" Bolanle asked angrily, letting out a bitter laugh after.

"Maami..." Bolanle said, taking a deep breath, unsure of whether to release the words that threatened to escape her mouth.

"Oko mi, kinni yen? (my darling, what is it?)" Maami asked casually, chewing on her bitter kola more than she listened to her child.

"I want to end my pain... I'm going to kill myself, I desperately need to end my misery maami" Bolanle threatened, even though it sounded more like a cry for help.

"Ehn!" Maami exclaimed, jumping from her seat like she had been hit by a rod.

"Eleda mi ko (my creator forbids it), you will not die" Maami screamed, tapping her finger over her head in quick succession.

Bolanle was more angry, knowing that her mother's prayer was borne out of her selfishness and not love for her daughter. She was her mother's retirement plan and the breadwinner of all her siblings. Her death would mean a big blow on Maami's finances and her 'I better pass my neighbor' lifestyle.

Maami, I'm sorry I'm leaving you now. I can no longer live as a walking corpse... Happiness has eluded me on earth and I'm hoping that I'll find it in heaven. This is what your 'good' has done to your Omobolanle" She said, her voice devoid of any emotions. 

Bolanle was determined, there was no going back now. It was better that death should save her face than she should live as a victim. She carefully opened the bottle she had in her hand the whole time, and gulped its content without much thinking.

"Bolanle please don't do this, I'm begging you... Bolanle jo ma pamilekun (Please don't make me cry Bolanle)" Maami was crying now, the consequences of her actions dawning on her.

"Bolanle! Omobolanle!"

SILENCE

The End

©Lightwriter's archive

November 2023

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Omobolanle like many other women is a victim of an age long practice that has taken more lives than it claims to protect. The gruesome act of removing the female genitalia in a bid to discourage promiscuity has proven to do more harm than good.

Female Genital Mutilation (FGM), commonly referred to as female circumcision, entails the partial or complete removal of the external female genitalia or other injury to the female genital organs for nonmedical purposes. 

FGM is a deeply ingrained cultural tradition that impacts millions of girls and women across the globe. As per the World Health Organization, over 200 million girls and women currently living have experienced female genital mutilation (FGM) in 30 countries across Africa, the Middle East, and Asia where this practice is prevalent. FGM is typically performed on girls at a young age, often between infancy and 15 years old.

FGM is classified into four major types, and although all types of FGM can cause health complications, the risk is usually greater with the more severe types.

Severe physical and psychological consequences are associated with FGM; according to WHO, immediate effects can include:

Severe pain, excessive bleeding (hemorrhage), genital tissue swelling, fever, infections e.g., tetanus, urinary problems, wound healing problems, injury to surrounding genital tissue, shock, death.

On the other hand, there are long-term complications that present themselves later in life. Some of them are:

Painful urination, UTI, vaginal infections, menstrual difficulties (painful menstruation and difficulty in passing menstrual blood), scar tissue and keloid, painful sex and sexual dissatisfaction, childbirth complications, need for later surgery(ies), psychological issues like depression, anxiety, PTSD, low self-esteem, suicidal intent.

In 2008, the World Health Assembly approved resolution WHA61.16, which focused on eradicating FGM and stressed the importance of coordinated efforts across various sectors, including health, education, finance, justice, and women's affairs.

While there is no treatment for FGM, it is best prevented by education and sensitization. Programs can be put in place to promote awareness and change harmful perceptions of FGM, while promoting abandonment too.

Support services can also be provided for victims of Female Genital Mutilation to cater to their physical and emotional well-being. Services like medical care, legal support and reproductive health education can be offered. Also, support groups can be formed to connect victims with one another and provide a sense of community and a space for shared healing.

FGM is a detrimental tradition that has significant physical and emotional repercussions; hence it is vital to understand its intricacies, reasons behind the act, and continuing measures to eradicate it. FGM Awareness and campaigns can help ensure a world where girls and women are protected and freed from this excruciating ordeal.

Thank you for reading❤️